If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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