don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize
