I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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