I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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