we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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