Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
