Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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