wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
