I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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