so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
