I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
