I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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