Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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