Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
