I puked a lego.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Acid is not a monday night drug
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
