her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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