my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
