Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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