HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
