then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I need to align my fucking chakras
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