please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize