I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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