Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
