you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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