I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
