Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize