So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
