yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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