I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
