My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
