I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
