Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
