I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
