Do you still have your period?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
