i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
