i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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