Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
