hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
