I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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