Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
