ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
