I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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