I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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