smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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