She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
