i permit you to call me
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
