dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Randomize