I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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