Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize