remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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