College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I touched a dick in church today
Drunk is a universal language darling
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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