Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
