Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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