That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
