woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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