dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Can I color on your dick again?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Floor bacon is actually really good
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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