you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
