I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
