we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so much tequila, so little girl.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
