in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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