Your tits are I can't wait for
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
