It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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