My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
