M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
